Tired Enough..

I don't know what I feel anymore.. Anger? Irritated? or Hurt? Happy? Maybe not. :(

I wonder where/what things that I did wrong that she had the courage to it over and over again..

I know, im already engaged with this girl.. often going out.. being with her.. but....

there's no malicious thing on my mind.. and besides.....

I always tell her what's happening on me.. what happened on me or how I have been recently..

I didn't even hide a thing.. I know she'll get jealous but still I never pretend.

But... behind all those things, why did she still lie? Don't she trust me?

I never think that she's having a relationship with her admirer, but... blocking him from my account.. what does that mean? and pretending herself as a bestfriend..... I know its way back at the past, but that girl that she pretended already got close on me.. I never thought that she still did that...

My thoughts are right, why am i such a fool who believed her excuses? :(

Maybe I just loved her so much and gave a lot of trust..

Even she say that she doesn't have a relationship with this David guy.. how can I be sure?

even her... I know she doubt me for having an engagement.. I also understand her... but WHY? just WHY?!!

Can't we be together without LIES?!

She already did it many times, is forgiving her many times isn't enough?

Maybe, forgiving her is the wrong thing, because I guess she'll do it again and again..

but for now, I don't feel fine.. maybe I can't LOVE someone who won't lie.. I know the world is full of lie, but if you love someone,, can't you just give trust that he/she will understand?

It hurts enough.. I LOVE HER, but now.. i guess i'm tired on all the things, 

always making effort to reach her, sacrificing many things just to reach her.. wasting my efforts just to build and give her a nice future together. I swear, i gave her promises that is really sincere from my heart... but now, its just a waste of time...

My british friends told me that Michelle is here for me, but they don't understand what I feel.. they don't know what I really desire.. Sheila's so perfect, but something's always wrong.. Is it me? ah, I really don't know anymore...

Michelle, until now, I don't know.. its like, I really can't take her...

Dad, can't you sense what I feel? Can't you see what I'm going through? Mom, I wish you were her with me.. Guide me once more.. Guys........ I really missed you so much..

James, I know how much it really hurts.. Yeah, i'm just young at age, but i thought i have finally found a girl whom i can share my everything... Jerley, you're right.. in this life, its full of disappointments.. we must strive hard just to survive.. Shin, why did leave? i miss you dude.. i know you understand me also.. and even sheila.. you have a tender heart.. hope we all meet soon again..

For now, i'll just rest my heart.. i'm tired.. really tired of loving..

Shiela.. Julie.. .. .. Sheila.. that's enough for now.. I'm going to focus on my life for now.. no loving, no courting, no hunting! I want to be rich! I don't care everything now.. its just all a waste of time..

If I just can tell her one last message, I'll thank her for everything.. even this things happened on us... she made me happy, SO MUCH indeed.. I know, she gave me true love, and so did I.. but this is the PERIOD. Let's close our book now, sheila.. but I won't stop believing that our book might open again.. someday..... yeah someday...... Have a good health honey.. Good luck on everything.

Let's just gaze on the stars, who knows.. maybe falling stars will make our dreams come true.

"Hope its a Dream that never Sleeps"

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It doesn’t matter if I’m lonely. Whenever I think of you

A smile spreads across my face.

It doesn’t matter if I’m tired. Whenever you are happy

My heart is filled with love.

Today I might live in a harsh world again.

Even if I’m tired, when I close my eyes, I only see your image.

The dreams that are still ringing in my ears

Are leaving my side towards you.

Everyday my life is like a dream.

If we can look at each other and love each other

I’ll stand up again.

To me, the happiness of those precious memories

Will be warmer during hard times.

For me, hope is a dream that never sleeps.

Like a shadow by my side you always

Quietly come to me.

To see if I’m hurt, to see if I’m lonely everyday

With feelings of yearning, you come to me.

Even if the world makes me cry, I’m okay.

Because you are always by my side.

Like dust, will those memories change and leave?

I’ll keep smiling to ease my heart.

Everyday my life is like a dream.

If we can look at each other and love each other

I’ll stand up again.

To me, the happiness of those precious memories

Will be warmer during hard times.

For me, hope is a dream that never sleeps.

No matter how many times I stumble and fall

I’m still standing like this.

I only have one heart.

When I’m tired you become my strength.

My heart is towards you forever.

So I swallowed the hurt and grief.

I’ll only show you my smiling form.

It doesn’t even hurt now.

I’ll always hold on to the dreams I want to fulfill with you

I’ll try to call for you at the place I cannot reach

I love you with all my heart.

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"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.

 When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."

MAHAL KITA KASE .. (My Amnesia Girl) shared by my friend jerley

MAHAL KITA KASI by Nicole Hyala

Bangin ka ba? Kasi Nahuhulog na ako sa’yo, naman kasi
Unggoy ka ba? Kasi
Sumasabit ka sa puso ko, naman kasi
Pustiso ka ba? Kasi
You know I can’t smile without you
Pagod na pagod na ako
Maghapon ka na kasing tumatakbo sa isipan ko
Kasi naman kasi

Mahal kita
Bagay tayong dalawa
Papicture nga
Para mapadevelop kita
Hindi tayo tao, hindi rin tayo hayop
Bagay tayo, bagay talaga

Papupulis kita, kasi
Ninakaw mo ang puso ko, naman kasi
Kuto ka ba? Kasi
Palagi ka sa ulo ko
Naman kasi
Apoy ka ba? Kasi
Alab-alab I love you

Magsalbabida ka nga
Kasi baka malunod ka sa pag-ibig ko
Kasi naman kasi

Mahal kita
Bagay tayong dalawa
Papicture nga
Pare mapadevelop kita
Hindi tayo tao, hindi rin tayo hayop
Bagay tayo, bagay talaga

Kamukha mo si Papa P, Papa P (ding dong)
P Papa P, Papa P
P Papa P, Papa P (ding dong)

Exam ka ba, kasi
Sasagutin kita agad-agad, naman kasi
Drugs ka ba? Kakaadik ka naman kasi
Kulangot ka ba? You’re really hard to get
Posporo ka ba? E di posporo rin ako
Parang match
Kasi naman kasi
Mahal kita
Bagay tayong dalawa
Papicture nga
Pare madevelop kita

Hindi tayo tao, hindi rin tayo hayop
Bagay tayo, bagay talaga

Pustiso ka nga, kasi

Newbie ..

oh well .. i know i'm just a newbie here .. i don't have any idea how to use this ..

but that doesn't matter , i will learn it somehow ..

i just left certain websites .. just because for my own reasons ..

i really don't want to use cyber anymore .. but i can't help but to go back again and again ..

because , i can't leave my precious memories that all happened thru CYBER

i'm planning to stay here ..

i'm planning to make Mr. Blogger as my diary ..

for now , i don't have anything to post ..

see you around my blog !