>.>    Wala na akong pakialam.. Para lang kasing laro sa kanya, Focus na ako kung ano ang meron sa akin ngayon. Bakit ba ako nagpapa-apekto? Eh, halata namang nakalimutan na niya ako. :'(                       

AND I'M COMPLETELY TORTURED.


He asked me, where do I prefer to spend a vacation if he'll give me a chance to choose one?
I thought "that" . but who cares now, in the end, I ended up answering.. "Paris". *regret* :(

NEEDS TO STUDY HARD!!! :|

Can I sleep/wake up and remember nothing about it? Can I!? Its driving me crazy.. DAMN! Its killing me slowly..

The Hardest Thing To Do. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxjAYHeGPTA


We both know that I shouldn't be here 
This is wrong 
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you 
Both of us trying to be strong 


I've got somewhere else to be 
Promises to keep 
Someone else who loves me 
And trusts me fast asleep 


I've made up my mind 
There is no turning back 
She's been good to me 
And she deserves better than that 


It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do 
To look you in the eye 
And tell you I don't love you 
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie 
To show no emotion when you start to cry 


I can't let you see what you mean to me 
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free 
We're not meant to be 


It's the hardest thing I'll ever had to do 
To turn around and walk away 
Pretending I don't love you 


I know that we'll meet again 
Fate has a place and time 
So you can get on with your life 
I've got to be cruel to be kind 


Like Dr. Zhivago 
All my love I'll be sending 
And you will never know cuz 
There can be no happy ending 


It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do 
To look you in the eye 
And tell you I don't love you 
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie 
To show no emotion when you start to cry 


Maybe another time, another day 
As much as I want to, I can't stay 

(Ooh) 

I've made up my mind 
There is no turning back 
She's been good to me 
And she deserves better than that 


It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do 
To look you in the eye 
And tell you I don't love you 
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie 
To show no emotion when you start to cry 


I don't want to live a lie 
What can I do 

Tired of dreaming, tired of hoping, tired of loving, tired of lies, tired of promises, tired of distance.


dont care if u're mad, bcos u dont hav d right to. ikaw unang nang gago.


all i jus want is to forget u, forget everything. live what is here for now and whatever on the future.
girls are all the same, so why bother jayson? bcos that will be last time to love seriously. and i wont even give a damn about girls. freak!

so many troubles on my life.

I do always understand you. So please, don't act that way. I do always miss you and always long to be with you. I'm sorry for acting like this lately. I'm not numb either, i know what you're going through. The problem is just me.. Yes, Love and Hatred was born together. I'm sorry for everything okay? Please do everything that will make you happy. I'm not going to interfere anymore.

I'm already on the right age. I already have the right to decide for the things for me. And I already know how to take care of self.

Tonight is the start of my real life. Please don't dare to contact me. I really hate everything on you. DAD!

 

 aww.. I love this picture so much. :) it always makes me smile! It feels like I already have a family! <3<3<3

Today I Don’t Feel Like Doing Anything
I Just Wanna Lay In My Bed
Don’t Feel Like Pickin’ Up My Phone
So Leave A Message At The Tone
‘Cause Today I swear I’m Not Doin’ Anythin’

I’m Gonna Kick My Feet Up
Then Stare At The Fan
Turn The TV On
Throw My Hand In My Pants
Nobody’s Gon’ Tell Me I Can’t

I’ll Be Lounging On The Couch, Jus’ Chillin In My Snuggie
Click To MTV So They Can Teach Me Howda Dougie
Cause In My Castle I’m The Freakin’ Man
Oh Oh

Today I Don’t Feel Like Doing Anything
I Just Wanna Lay In My Bed
Don’t Feel Like Pickin’ Up My Phone
So Leave A Message At The Tone
‘Cause Today I Swear I’m Not Doin’ Anythin’
Nothin’ At All

I Might Mess Around, and Get My Collage Degree
I Bet My Old Man Would Be So Prouda Me
But Sorry Pops You’ll Just Have To Wait
Today I Don’t Feel Like Doing Anything
I Just Wanna Lay In My Bed
Don’t Feel Like Pickin’ Up My Phone
So Leave A Message At The Tone
‘Cause Today I swear I’m Not Doin’ Anythin’
No I Ain’t Gonna Comb My Hair
‘Cause I Ain’t Goin’ Anywhere
No No No No No No No No No
Ohhh

Its my 2nd Anniversary with my girlfriend last 2nd of May.. I really never imagined that we've reached this far. And I'm so happy about it.. I wish we'll end up like Prince William and Princess Kate. I watched their royal wedding here at Barcelona.. I'm staying here for a couple of weeks and I never thought that I'm going to enjoy my stay. Princess Kate is so lucky, that's what many people announced here and I.. so thought too :D

And after this anniversary of mine, I'm going to face a lot of things again at my hometown.. =__= Actually, I'm here at Barcelona because I'm going to take my ADVANCE EDUCATION PROGRAMME. Michelle said that its like a vacation for her, but for me, its definitely not.. Damn! How can you enjoy Barcelona if you're just here to buy TONS of BOOKS?! Their books are the first class here. And I'm getting fed up. Books are my souvenirs on this country while my cousin and fiancee bought a lot of things such as clothes and blah blah! I don't know why but I guess I regret my decision to come here.. Anyways, I also came here for the royal wedding! ^^

Its time to say goodbye on my good Barcelona. Hope to be back here next time with good reasons.. (Ex: to have Leisure Time). For now, I need to make myself busy and spending a lot of time at the library again. And, I swear I will pass this GREAT EXAM! :D

ah ah.. I watched BOYS OVER FLOWERS once again.

a dramatic, exotic Korean Film.

Its like I'm having a past back memories. I don't know why I like this film, but its very touching. I don't refer this as my real life but I just really like it.

Yes, especially GEUM JAN DI. I know she's just an actress, but I LIKE HER SO MUCH!

She's the type of a girl that I really really like!

I know im crazy eh but what can others do? oh how I wish to meet her in person.

She's so a CUTIE. :D

________________________________________________

And, my life's getting more terrible day by day.

Feeling so bored and its like, I'm a numb one now.

I just really don't plan to use any other social sites than this for now.. /:|

Did I change? Why there's many people having comments on that one?

I could just care less.

I'm not that interested either.

__________________________________________________

Tired Enough..

I don't know what I feel anymore.. Anger? Irritated? or Hurt? Happy? Maybe not. :(

I wonder where/what things that I did wrong that she had the courage to it over and over again..

I know, im already engaged with this girl.. often going out.. being with her.. but....

there's no malicious thing on my mind.. and besides.....

I always tell her what's happening on me.. what happened on me or how I have been recently..

I didn't even hide a thing.. I know she'll get jealous but still I never pretend.

But... behind all those things, why did she still lie? Don't she trust me?

I never think that she's having a relationship with her admirer, but... blocking him from my account.. what does that mean? and pretending herself as a bestfriend..... I know its way back at the past, but that girl that she pretended already got close on me.. I never thought that she still did that...

My thoughts are right, why am i such a fool who believed her excuses? :(

Maybe I just loved her so much and gave a lot of trust..

Even she say that she doesn't have a relationship with this David guy.. how can I be sure?

even her... I know she doubt me for having an engagement.. I also understand her... but WHY? just WHY?!!

Can't we be together without LIES?!

She already did it many times, is forgiving her many times isn't enough?

Maybe, forgiving her is the wrong thing, because I guess she'll do it again and again..

but for now, I don't feel fine.. maybe I can't LOVE someone who won't lie.. I know the world is full of lie, but if you love someone,, can't you just give trust that he/she will understand?

It hurts enough.. I LOVE HER, but now.. i guess i'm tired on all the things, 

always making effort to reach her, sacrificing many things just to reach her.. wasting my efforts just to build and give her a nice future together. I swear, i gave her promises that is really sincere from my heart... but now, its just a waste of time...

My british friends told me that Michelle is here for me, but they don't understand what I feel.. they don't know what I really desire.. Sheila's so perfect, but something's always wrong.. Is it me? ah, I really don't know anymore...

Michelle, until now, I don't know.. its like, I really can't take her...

Dad, can't you sense what I feel? Can't you see what I'm going through? Mom, I wish you were her with me.. Guide me once more.. Guys........ I really missed you so much..

James, I know how much it really hurts.. Yeah, i'm just young at age, but i thought i have finally found a girl whom i can share my everything... Jerley, you're right.. in this life, its full of disappointments.. we must strive hard just to survive.. Shin, why did leave? i miss you dude.. i know you understand me also.. and even sheila.. you have a tender heart.. hope we all meet soon again..

For now, i'll just rest my heart.. i'm tired.. really tired of loving..

Shiela.. Julie.. .. .. Sheila.. that's enough for now.. I'm going to focus on my life for now.. no loving, no courting, no hunting! I want to be rich! I don't care everything now.. its just all a waste of time..

If I just can tell her one last message, I'll thank her for everything.. even this things happened on us... she made me happy, SO MUCH indeed.. I know, she gave me true love, and so did I.. but this is the PERIOD. Let's close our book now, sheila.. but I won't stop believing that our book might open again.. someday..... yeah someday...... Have a good health honey.. Good luck on everything.

Let's just gaze on the stars, who knows.. maybe falling stars will make our dreams come true.

"Hope its a Dream that never Sleeps"

<center><font style="broadway">

It doesn’t matter if I’m lonely. Whenever I think of you

A smile spreads across my face.

It doesn’t matter if I’m tired. Whenever you are happy

My heart is filled with love.

Today I might live in a harsh world again.

Even if I’m tired, when I close my eyes, I only see your image.

The dreams that are still ringing in my ears

Are leaving my side towards you.

Everyday my life is like a dream.

If we can look at each other and love each other

I’ll stand up again.

To me, the happiness of those precious memories

Will be warmer during hard times.

For me, hope is a dream that never sleeps.

Like a shadow by my side you always

Quietly come to me.

To see if I’m hurt, to see if I’m lonely everyday

With feelings of yearning, you come to me.

Even if the world makes me cry, I’m okay.

Because you are always by my side.

Like dust, will those memories change and leave?

I’ll keep smiling to ease my heart.

Everyday my life is like a dream.

If we can look at each other and love each other

I’ll stand up again.

To me, the happiness of those precious memories

Will be warmer during hard times.

For me, hope is a dream that never sleeps.

No matter how many times I stumble and fall

I’m still standing like this.

I only have one heart.

When I’m tired you become my strength.

My heart is towards you forever.

So I swallowed the hurt and grief.

I’ll only show you my smiling form.

It doesn’t even hurt now.

I’ll always hold on to the dreams I want to fulfill with you

I’ll try to call for you at the place I cannot reach

I love you with all my heart.

</font></center>

"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.

 When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."

MAHAL KITA KASE .. (My Amnesia Girl) shared by my friend jerley

MAHAL KITA KASI by Nicole Hyala

Bangin ka ba? Kasi Nahuhulog na ako sa’yo, naman kasi
Unggoy ka ba? Kasi
Sumasabit ka sa puso ko, naman kasi
Pustiso ka ba? Kasi
You know I can’t smile without you
Pagod na pagod na ako
Maghapon ka na kasing tumatakbo sa isipan ko
Kasi naman kasi

Mahal kita
Bagay tayong dalawa
Papicture nga
Para mapadevelop kita
Hindi tayo tao, hindi rin tayo hayop
Bagay tayo, bagay talaga

Papupulis kita, kasi
Ninakaw mo ang puso ko, naman kasi
Kuto ka ba? Kasi
Palagi ka sa ulo ko
Naman kasi
Apoy ka ba? Kasi
Alab-alab I love you

Magsalbabida ka nga
Kasi baka malunod ka sa pag-ibig ko
Kasi naman kasi

Mahal kita
Bagay tayong dalawa
Papicture nga
Pare mapadevelop kita
Hindi tayo tao, hindi rin tayo hayop
Bagay tayo, bagay talaga

Kamukha mo si Papa P, Papa P (ding dong)
P Papa P, Papa P
P Papa P, Papa P (ding dong)

Exam ka ba, kasi
Sasagutin kita agad-agad, naman kasi
Drugs ka ba? Kakaadik ka naman kasi
Kulangot ka ba? You’re really hard to get
Posporo ka ba? E di posporo rin ako
Parang match
Kasi naman kasi
Mahal kita
Bagay tayong dalawa
Papicture nga
Pare madevelop kita

Hindi tayo tao, hindi rin tayo hayop
Bagay tayo, bagay talaga

Pustiso ka nga, kasi

Newbie ..

oh well .. i know i'm just a newbie here .. i don't have any idea how to use this ..

but that doesn't matter , i will learn it somehow ..

i just left certain websites .. just because for my own reasons ..

i really don't want to use cyber anymore .. but i can't help but to go back again and again ..

because , i can't leave my precious memories that all happened thru CYBER

i'm planning to stay here ..

i'm planning to make Mr. Blogger as my diary ..

for now , i don't have anything to post ..

see you around my blog !